Boundaries

another new week to go thru.. started readin the boundary book and from first chapter it gave me a good in sight of more things that I can learn about boundary, the first chapter is a story of a mom who doesn't know her boundaries and it affected her life a lot.. her working life, with frens, church and even her relationship wif her husband and children face bad consequences, everyone around her taking the full use of her and she not able to control her own life..she doesn't know when to say 'No' bcoz she doesn't set any boundaries, its like her whole life is about other ppl and as I read, I also examine my own life and learn that I also sometime lacking of boundaries in my life.. I hope i can finish this book by the end of this month and understand more about boundaries and take control of my own life! A lot time bcoz I lackin in boundaries, the decision I make is not only not very wise and somehow affect how I live my life, and I think of the future, it will also affect how my family be in the future coz I dunno o not sure when to say 'yes' or when to say 'no'.. It makes me to start thinkin of many decision in past that I did a lot of them is without boundaries and it's good that this book explain it from the biblical point of view, am sure after goin thru tis book I can learn to set boundaries for myself and take tis opportunity to practice it.. I got to understand more of what Vincent was trying to tell me and also another bro.. even the first chapter give me some insight of wat boundary is..

The other day during Sunday lunch time, I was there wif Vincent and another bro, he shared about his family financial struggle.. and he had to start giving more to his parent bcoz his parent need more money.. but the problem is that his dad needed more money for his gambling and smoking habit, and the bro still cannot see that by giving more money to his parent, it only make things worst bcoz its not helpin his parent, but encouraging them to indulge in the gambling & smoking even more.. I can understand why he still wanted to continue give is bcoz as a son to father, its would show his gratitute and repect for the parent, he also mentioned about since the father is old oledi, the best thing that he can do 'help' his parent is to provide them money.. I know it's not easy for him coz he also love his parent.. and Vincent also suggest that he talk to the rest of his brother n sister to also contribute coz they are also working and also is part of the family.. and somemore this bro is still single and want to get steady and one day get married, how is he goin to continue to give for the rest of his life to his parent when he doesn't have much saving for himself, from the consersation I learn that it very important to make a stand to do the right thing and know when to to say 'No' when it come to giving money to parent.

Vincent also mention that not giving to his parent doesn't show he is selfish and not being a good son, he has to learn about his own boundaries and make the right decision. Vincent also say somethin about does his 'helping' really helping his parent.. that was somethin tat stuck in my mind for sometime and when I read the book.. i understand more about 'helping' someone.. to help someone means to bring a person to another level where they can be self sufficient and capable of handling things on thier own.. and if the 'help' that was given doesn't achieve this goal, it's not actually helping the other person. Often as Christians, we focus so muchh on loving and unselfish that we can forget our own limits and limitations. This book will help me learn how to set healthy boundaries with different ppl in my life and also myself, and this boundaries will give me freedom to walk as the loving, giving, fulfilled individuals God created me to be.. as for ur financial problem, will need sit down wif u and talk wif u and understand fully and give u my point of view of what I think and also hopefully help u see the point of view that I see and will help u overcome this burden that u have for ur parent. olite.. gtg back to work.. write more later..